so it goes

j and i get into 'discussions' about how much i exercise because he knows the benefits will help me and i refuse to admit it, to him only of course. the last 2 weeks my 'how much' has been about 2 times, and my excuse for why i don't want to run with him is...anything i can think of. i already took a shower today! uh, don't we have plans? can you go by yourself while i sit here? then i get on a roll of 'fine, i'll do it!' and i do something extreme. tonight, i went on a bike ride. some people get annoyed and go a few blocks. maybe even a few miles. i went to the beach & back, googled my route, and went 11 miles! holy cow! that's determination. at different times in my life i've sought after exercise. i've even admitted to enjoying it. varsity tennis in hs & then college. church basketball. the strength you feel after lifting weights for a few weeks. don't get me wrong, i love seeing tiny bits of muscle. i love feeling stronger. i just don't like how much effort it takes me to get there. sometimes it's fun to run. checking out new neighborhoods and pretty houses. hearing the ocean and soaking in the sun. geting stress out and sleeping better. in costa rica we did floor exercises each night and i was the leader! it was fun! but alone, it's a battle of wills. getting up and putting my sports bra on. rolling my eyes at the tennis shoes that somehow never get the tread worn out. i get really inspired by reading self and shape magazines. wow, great bodies. ooo, new workouts. and then they sit on the shelf. i like yoga. i like hiking. i like walking. but those don't burn the late night snacks off. so what's a girl to do. i think life is just a constant balance of this. you love it, you do it, you hate it, you still do it. we all need to exercise. it keeps us healthy, keeps the weight from creeping, evens out that lemon bar i just ate. was that outloud? j's good at exercise. he likes it & feels good after. he really pushes himself because he loves the feeling when he beats his goal. maybe after a few more years of marriage a little bit of him will creep over and i'll actually ask him to go running. maybe. just not today.