Wednesday, November 5, 2008

how to let go

I don't approach dating much on my blog. I am afterall, a year and a half into marriage with my best friend. But, i had to date a few to get to this one. I never admited it at the time, but a few moon's ago a friend sent me this book after I dated Nordon (not his real name). I tossed it out of embarassment to have it on my shelf, but what it said made sense. See, Nordon and I were great. Everything was great. Week 2, he said he loved me, wanted to marry me. And then one day, 6 months later it was over. It just wasn't working. He needed sometime to work on personal goals and then we would reasses. (worst line ever). So I waited. Patiently, then not so patiently. I kept the old hope up and it was hard to break that down. I didn't eat, sleep, lost weight (def. not a bad thing), and cried a lot. Then in time, I moved on. To the next guy who didn't work, and then to my husband. Why do we do it? Why do we hold on to the best that we've had even if they didn't want us back? Even if they were great, the mere fact that they are unwilling to push on and work on things because they like/love you that much means that they're just not that into you. Which is fine, it's just hard to swallow.

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. The truth may be, He's just not that into you. He's Just Not That Into You -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

What are your thoughts? Guys, when you feel it's over are you just done? Girls - any advise to a friend that is having a hard time letting go?

1 comment:

rachel lee said...

Its because we trust them too much! Of course we are going to believe them when they say they do better and then they never do. We wait to long. I learned to go by actions than words...